What does it mean to raise successful children in this day and age? How does it compare to expectations we had 50, 100 years ago? What should we be spending our time doing in order to raise "successful" children?
This topic has become more important to me now that I have two adult children. As Kelsey graduated from college, most people congratulated us, then asked "What is she going to do now, does she have a job lined up?" Or as people have heard that Nathan is choosing to take a break from college, "Are you worried he isn't going back?"
It's made me think of how we currently measure success:
Graduating from a good school with a "useful" degree (ie not the liberal arts)
Getting a job quickly, making as much money as possible early on.
Get settled, buy a big house, nice car, fancy clothes.
Later... make a couple of kids, and get financially secure enough to pay for college for your own children and repeat this cycle.
How did we used to measure success?
I imagine 50 years ago (1966- a year before I was born) I think the measurements of "raising successful children" was about the same minus the college degree. Parents hoped their children would finish high school, stay off drugs, get married, make babies, live in a nice house and live the "American dream."
What about 100 years ago- 1916? Ultimately we hoped for healthy children who would live without "wanting" for physical things like a roof over their head and plenty of food to eat. Survival was still not 100% guaranteed. Just making it was considered a success.
So how do I measure success? Of course I hope for the basics for them-- a safe place to live, a roof over their head and good food to eat. But after that, what becomes more important than that degree from an important school or the high salary is something a lot less tangible:
Scotka Measurements for Success
Honesty and integrity
A loving soul who cares about others regardless of race, religion or species...
Curiosity and a desire to learn and grow
An ability to work with others, communicate well, listen respectfully
The ability to love and accept oneself
This is what I hope for my children. These are the things we spent time on when they were little. These are the things we try to demonstrate to them in our own lives. Because I know if they are able to do all those things, no matter where they live, no matter what they do, that they will be a success.
