18 years ago, my first child was born. She turned me into something I had never been- a mother. I didn't know how to do it. I figured, along with my husband and mom, I'd figure things out along the way. It's amazing how one little person changes who you are! I know her birth profoundly changed how I looked at things as well-- I had more confidence in myself, figured "If I could do THAT, certainly I could be a good mom". Here is the story of the day Kelsey was born:
I was due 10/9. On my due date, I noticed I had lost my mucous plug and started cramping. I let my mom know. I remember her asking "Is that a good thing?" I had mild cramps all day, 15-20 minutes apart. My mom slept in her clothes that night, anticipating a "wild" middle of the night trip to the hospital. But no, I woke up pregnant and crampy.
Another day passed. We walked, we rested...timing more cramps. We finally convinced my mom to leave my side to kill some of the day. She had a history of fast labors and was sure when it "went", it would be fast, and she didn't want to miss it! I was cranky, frustrated. I was ready for all this to turn into something. That night we all went to bed again, hoping something would happen.
I remember waking up around 2 or 3 am, thinking, "Wow- these are really hurting!" My back was killing me, even between the contractions. (I was not calling them cramps anymore) I was sure it was still very early labor so wanted to let Tones sleep, so I got in a "child's pose" position in bed and started using my breathing to help me get through them. I don't remember, but at some point he woke up and asked me what was going on. I walked around, trying to let him and my mom sleep (hard in our 600 sq ft condo!) I didn't time contractions, just worked at getting through them. I remember Tones being up with me at some point, trying to help me, but he was really sleepy and kept closing his eyes. It was pissing me off.
Finally around 6:30 or 7am I went into the living room where my mom was sleeping. She got up to make me some tea and toast... I remembered from my childbirth class it was important to eat and drink during early labor. Still, no one was timing contractions... all I could think about was how much my back hurt! I was resting on the fold out couch when my water broke- around 7:30am. I thought, "Thank God, a reason finally to go to the hospital!" We woke Tones up. He asked if it was ok to take a shower and I told him no, we had to go.
It was only a 25 minute drive to the hospital, but it was torture. I sat in the backseat, leaning forward, chanting in my mind "Please be at least 4cm". During class, I had watched the info about epidurals and quite honestly, the thought of a needle in my back totally freaked me out. I was hoping for a natural birth. But I was second guessing that decision on the way there. I was thinking there was no way I was going to make it.
We snuck in the "back way" into the Women's Center... my husband and mother leaving me behind as I had to constantly stop for a contraction. (Still no one timing them) It was around 9am I think...When we got there, it was a scurry of activity. I remember being put on monitors and being told to be in bed which was TORTURE. I kept telling them my back hurt and a nurse said "We'll get you a cold pack". I was thinking in my head, "I don't want a F--KING cold pack, I want drugs!" But luckily, those words never escaped my lips. Or maybe they did...
Time was a blur. It seemed everyone was paying attention to something else, I felt alone getting through the contractions, which were awful. At some point, I remember thinking I needed to go to the bathroom, and remembered again, our childbirth class, how some moms poop when they deliver their babies. Well, I certainly did not want to poop when I pushed, so I headed into the bathroom. My mom had the sense to follow me. One big grunt later she said "You're not pooping, you're having a baby!" and made me get off the toilet back into bed.
It was then someone finally checked me and said "She's having a baby!" Thank GOD! Pushing felt way better-- there was a scramble...the midwife ran in, and within about 20 minutes, Kelsey was born at 10:41am.
Happy Birthday, my sweet baby girl. You have been a whirlwind and adventure since day one. Thank you for entering our lives, and thank you for helping me become the person I am today! I love you!
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